Current IMDB score: 8.1
Director: Stephen Chbosky
Main Actors you care about: Emma Watson, Logan Miller, Paul Rudd
Why I liked it:
I'm going to be bias in this movie review because I love this movie more than I should. I feel like it matches reality more than most movies. Although in real life Sam would probably have never dated Charlie. I feel like most of this story happened in Stephen Chbosky's life except the part where he started dating the girl. It could have happened but it's rare to ever really like someone for a long time and have them like you back after a long period of time. If it was going to happen it would have probably happened a year into knowing someone. It can happen but overall that doesn't happen often. It's needed to have them end up together at the end of the movie because there's a lot of bad things that happen in the movie. I don't think the audience would respond as well if they didn't end up together. Too much sadness in the a movie really turns people off. The sadness that is in this movie probably turns a lot of people off. It's such a sad movie. It's such a meaningful movie. It's such a loving movie. Sorry but this movie really deserves to be higher than a 8.1. This movie gave me a lot to think about in relationships. After watching it I immediately wanted to watch it again.
What stands out:
The way this movie looks at life is what stands out the most. Most things said by Charlie are what would come out a friend's or my mouth. It's real. Some of the other characters don't say things a normal person would say but Charlie I think does. I might be bias here though.
What I Would Change (if anything): I kind of don't like the scene where Patrick tries to kiss Charlie. That whole little part where he's only hanging out with Patrick seems like filler. I would have done something else. I understand Patrick being that hurt by a relationship will mess up his sense of judgement because he just wants to feel good again but I think it distracts from the story of Charlie. Patrick should know by then that Charlie is in love with Sam.
Favorite Line(s)/Scene: Ok here we go. I think this will be a long section. Hopefully it will be.
First off the most important lines:
Charlie: Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?
Bill: Are we talking about anyone specific?
[Charlie nods]
Bill: Well, we accept the love we think we deserve.
Charlie: Can we make them know that they deserve more?
Bill: We can try.
There so much to say here. Lets start with, so many times in life people choose to love people without looking at an important part of a person. How well they are being treated. I say that but it's really hard to judge that in someone when you are head over heels in love. It's hard when your feelings are involved. It's hard because you put so much effort into love that when you have to think about whether or not you are being loved back it gets really hard to be unbiased. I think that's because being in love with some one is embracing your bias. Everyone is mostly the same. Most people love the same way. Most people will love you (in some way) after being around you for a certain amount of time. That's kind of my experience for the most part. They say the number one indicator of love is proximity. Picking one person to love the rest of your life can only, (repeating) only be done with embracing bias. Because of this bias it's hard, if not impossible, to look objectively at your significant other that you are in mainly only in love with because of said bias. It's such a Catch-22. You want to be in love, but being in love makes you overlook flaws in that love that could make you fall out of love over time. It's such an odd thing to think about really.
"We accept the love we think we deserve." This took awhile to think through. Is this really true? For me, I never really had a problem. I don't overly put up with bullshit when it comes to girls I'm actually dating. I have put up with the runaround from girls I'm not dating but that doesn't really count as dating I don't think. If a girl is doing some bull crap I'll usually call her out on it and talk through it with her. It might take me awhile but I still do it and don't really put up with it. Does that mean I think I deserve no bull crap? I don't really know. Maybe so. I don't put up with bullcrap because I don't believe in bullcrap. No one should be treated poorly and I don't understand when when we treat someone poorly. I think that because that makes sense. Treat others as you like to be treated. If I treat others well then I will be treated well back. If I don't get treated well back that doesn't make sense and I will call them out. In a way that means I don't think I deserve bull crap. That's my own perspective though.
The rest of this will be for the other people I see in my life picking people that end up being wrong for them. I don't really know if they do that because they don't think they deserve more. I think they pick bad people because they aren't really picking. If you think you choose the person you love then I think you are crazy. I've never been able to force myself to love someone. I can fake love someone. Faking love though is easy to see through and doesn't really mean anything. Fake loving is commonly refereed to as settling. People know you love someone without you having to say it usually. You can't control it. I'm sorry but you can't. If you could then people would pick the person that treats them the best. That doesn't happen. Wait a minute. Sometimes that does happen but not in any relationship I admire or feel is fantastic. Persistence should not pay off when it comes to love. That's why I don't really believe timing is everything. Anyway you have to like more than just the way someone treats you. After a lot of thought I think this quote is just for people that want to date people that date poorly (and think they should be dating them). Like Charlie with Sam. Granted Charlie has a sister who is dating poorly and he wishes she would not date ponytail Derrick anymore but Charlie is really thinking about Sam here. After thinking about it I don't overly like this quote but I'm leaving it here because it's a important thought to think about.
(Rethinking) It does have some merit though. If you are putting up with bullcrap from your lover then it might be because you don't think you deserve better. Like people that go back to physically abusive lovers. Like people that go back to people that cheat on them. You could look at it like those people don't think they deserve better or you can think of it as they don't have control over who they love and want it to work out so badly that they will risk being treated bad in the short term for long term happiness. I don't really know though. It seems I'm thinking in circles on this point.
Light quote next:
(at a high school dance)
Sam: "Oh my God they are playing good music!"
Yea good lord, high school dances were awful. The last one I remember going to was just a bunch of rap music of the day, people grinding on each other, and me just laughing at the whole thing. It's like a club scene in high school where you know everyone that's grinding on each other. It's kind of hilarious to see.
Back to intense:
Charlie: [voice-over] "I don't know if I will have the time to write any more letters because I might be too busy trying to participate. So if this does end up being the last letter, I just want you to know that I was in a bad place before I started high school, and you helped me. Even if you didn't know what I was talking about or know someone who's gone through it, you made me not feel alone. Because I know there are people who say all these things don't happen. And there are people who forget what it's like to be 16 when they turn 17. I know these will all be stories someday. And our pictures will become old photographs. We'll all become somebody's mom or dad. But right now these moments are not stories. This is happening. I am here and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you're listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment I swear, we are infinite."
So a few things here. I like the idea of living in the past. I think in the past so often. A paraphrased quote from my dad: "When you get to be my age you'll see you have a lot previous stuff to think about that you forget you are in the present sometimes." Yep, I'm only halfway in my life and I already mostly live right now in the past. It's hard to believe there are people that don't live in the past. Most days pass by and are uneventful. So most days I'm thinking about the past days that were eventful. There are people that don't think about everything in the past though. I don't know how they do it.
"This is happening" and the car scene. I love those moments in life. I'm not talking about when people post things like "So this is happening." I'm talking about the moments that you KNOW are eventful and they are happening right now and you realize it's going to be eventful and you soak in as much as you freaking can so that in the future you'll have all these things to think about that are going on right now. It's awesome. I love it, I love it, I love it when it happens. It's why people get up in the morning. God it feels so good. It makes me happy just pointing this out.
Light quote:
Patrick: "I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in the room. . . ."
(Charlie kisses Sam)
Patrick: "Oh that's fucked up."
Indeed, it is fucked up. I laughed pretty hard and still do when I watch it.
Back to intense:
Sam: You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love.
Maybe because I like Charlie but is that not true? Love in the like the non-romantic sense is caring about someone in a deeper way than most other people. Putting someone's life ahead of yours is really caring about someone on a deeper level. I would venture to say that putting someone's life ahead of yours does count as at least non-romantic love. If though, she is talking about romantic love then she is kind of correct. I don't know which way she is saying this though. I don't think I fully understand this thought. I think I have a Charlie bias here or something that I can't see past. Even in a romantic love, putting someone's life ahead of yours is a part of it. You have to at least want to put their life ahead of yours I would think. I don't fully understand this quote and having to think more on this is why I love this movie.
Light quote:
Charlie: Dad, can I have 30 dollars?
Father: 20 dollars? What do you need 10 dollars for?
Hilarious
Back to intense but not that intense:
Charlie: "And I know she would understand how I am both happy and sad, and I'm still trying to figure out how could that be."
I hate to say this but everyone is happy and sad at the same time. We are humans. We will die. At the minimum you have loved someone that has died by now. One of those thoughts has made you sad and you will remain sad about that until the day you die. That doesn't stop you from being happy sometime later in life though. Dying is just an example. There is something in your life that has made you really sad and that you carry with you the rest of your life and think about from time to time when you are about to fall asleep.
Light:
Sam: Welcome to the island of misfit toys.
I just like it.
Last intense quote because this is getting too long:
Charlie: There is so much pain. And I-I-I don't know how to not notice it.
Dr. Burton: What's hurting you?
Charlie: No, not... not me. It's them! It's... it's everyone. It never stops. Do you understand?
This is the quote I relate to the most. My life is very easy. I get up, go to work which is fairly easy for me, get paid way higher than minimum wage while having very little stress. I go home, hang out with friends, watch movies and think about life and philosophy. It's very easy. I don't have a lot of problems. I don't produce much pain in my life. Everyone else is in so much pain around me. It never stops. It's always happening. I can USUALLY deal with everything that happens to me but I can't deal with everything that happens to everyone else. Empathy sucks sometimes. Again I don't really have any problems and my life is fairly easy. The things that happen to the people around me and people I don't even know are insanely complicated sometimes. I don't know if they put themselves in those positions or what but why aren't those things happening to me? Maybe I'm just the lucky one? Never-the-less most pain in my life comes from others through things through empathy. Not to say the happiness in my life doesn't come from others either. It's definitely worth the happiness society gives me over the amount of pain that it gives me. If I was to live in the woods by myself starting now (like Into the Wild), I think I would have a painless life. I also would have a boring and not as happy of a life overall.
Sorry two more but not really intense:
Charlie: Sam, do you think if people knew how crazy you really were, no one would ever talk to you?
Sam: All the time.
I feel like everyone is acting all the time. Some people are hard to see acting than others but they are still acting. I know I'm acting. Just about everyday I have to act to seem normal and for people not to worry. Only a few times in life have I made it to the point with someone to really think that they aren't acting. Those are generally the people I love.
Hooray last one (I can't believe you are still reading these):
Charlie: I know who you are, Sam. I know I'm quiet... and, and I know I should speak more. But if you knew the things that were in my head most of the time, you'd know what it really meant. How, how much we're alike, and how we've been through the same things... and you're not small. You're beautiful.
"I know who you are" Never say that. You never know anyone. I know in the moment it feels like you do but you really don't. "How, how much we're alike" This is just a byproduct of loving someone I feel like. Whenever you like someone (more than dislike) you will find the similarities between them and you. If you don't like them you find differences. As previously said loving someone can only be done with a bias. You have things in common with your worst enemy and you have things not in common with the person you love most in the world.
Similar Movies/TV Shows: I don't know. This movie gave me so much to think about as I hope I showed. Maybe the Wonder Years TV series. That's probably a good comparison. Nostalgia of high school + Love + lots of thoughts. It's Kind of a Funny Story is similar but much lighter than Perks.
"Side" note:
1210, the SAT score Sam gets was the same SAT score I received. For some reason I like that.
I saw this movie alone in theaters in New York after being alone for about a year in New York. It was before the movie came out anywhere else so "I was meant to watch it then". This movie partly made me leave New York. When I got back home I watched it again with friends. When it came out online I watched it twice more. I didn't even know it was a book. I should probably read the book sometime. Always read the book after watching the movie. Never the other way around. I've never heard anyone say the movie was better than the book. Maybe once I have but the general rule would be to read the book after watching the movie.
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